39 weeks + 4 days

BellyCollage2

 

So, what’s there to say about being pregnant that hasn’t already been said?  I’ve read it all (or a lot of it), thanks to the internet, phone Apps, and a few good old fashioned books.  But, at a near-40 weeks, here’s a little commentary on my own experience.

Let’s just get down to business…  The worst of it:

  • From weeks 5, when the morning sickness hit, until week 17, when it mercifully moved along, I thought pregnancy was the worst thing to ever happen to me.  It lasted all day every day and was at its worst in the evenings.  I found out what it was like to throw up everything from pears (the worst) to PB&J (so gross) to Jimmy John’s.  Just kidding – Jimmy J’s was the only thing I didn’t throw up.  (Freaky fast and stomach-friendly, apparently!)  I tried everything the Google had to offer for curbing it:  Saltines, ginger, lots of small meals, Sprite, eating before getting out of bed, water, up the protein, lemon candies, Sea-bands, Unisom paired with Vitamin B6…  I tried them all and none of them did one damn thing.  Good freaking luck to any of you mamas out there trying to get some relief.  It doesn’t exist and your life is over until it’s not.  Oh, and you’re at your worst and looking not pregnant but fat, all while trying to hide it from everyone that you’re knocked up?  Good luck with that.
  • Cravings?  Not really.  But in the beginning I hated the smell of coffee and Mike’s deodorant.  And one time he burped and made me throw up.  Honestly, that first trimester is the devil.
  • Immune system shmimmune system.  I hardly have one anyway, but when I came down with a cold/sinus-crap at around 7 months I couldn’t kick it for 6 weeks.  Pregnant AND sick?  Oh joy!
  • Second Trimester is supposed to be a honeymoon, but I had middle back pain around 20-25 weeks and couldn’t find much relief outside of some lumbar support and massages from the hubs.  Oh, and PS maybe take some Tylenol, Cristin, but also maybe your child will come out with ADD and hypochondria and three arms.  And a tattoo.
  • But yeah yeah…  so what, everyone has aches and pains.  What’s the worst worst thing about pregnancy?  People.  First, you tell them you are pregnant and surprise THEY ALL ALREADY KNEW.  They each want to enlighten you with just which moment really screamed “with child” to them, whether it was your growing waistline (gee, thanks for noticing), the bag of Cheerios you carried around (maybe I just like Cheerios, ok?), the lack of coffee cup in your hand (people actually notice this?) or the fact that you turned down some booze (so, you’re saying I’m normally a lush…).  Then, pregnancy is just an endless influx of “advice.”  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate advice when it is actual advice.  As in, “Hey, you should check out this superspecial baby-care item that saved my life with my baby, and maybe you’d like it, too!”  I know nothing, so please do tell me all your secrets.  But, hard-pass on the advice that sounds a lot more like “Oh you just wait until THIS happens to you,” or a command like “Don’t ever buy that item, buy this item.”  Just because at week 30 you grew a beard doesn’t mean I am going to (totally didn’t) or though your labor lasted 47 hours doesn’t mean mine will (please God, no) and though you had a baby and thus never left the house again doesn’t mean I won’t.  GAK.  Oh, and the endless requests to reveal the name?  Don’t even get me started.
  • I’m sounding super complainy, so I won’t get into the inability to breathe, the fatigue and the heartburn.  Hardly noticed those.

The best:

  • The best thing about being pregnant?  The people.  Yeah, they’re maddening much of the time, but they’re also super supportive and interested in your well-being.  Never have I been asked so many times, “how you feeling?”  The girls at work sometimes snuck me breakfasts and asked me to choose lunch, because I am the pregnant one, afterall.  And, strangers actually smile at you occasionally.  It’s totally not a bad gig.  Friends and family have expressed such love and kindness, some from which I’d have never expected it.  And you know what?  Not one stranger has asked to touch my belly, so that phenomenon is a total myth in my world, but when they ask me how far along I am and follow up after my response with a “wow, you look great!”  THAT I can get behind.
  • Feeling the little guy move around in there has been surprisingly sweet and comforting.  He’s gentle, too, so I’ve never had to give his little foot a shove out of my ribcage.
  • And, honestly, there are a lot of pregnancy-induced ailments I didn’t get, so I’m most definitely grateful for that.
  • Lastly, this is where I say how the best thing of all is that it’s all worth it because in the end we’re rewarded with an angel baby unlike any other baby in the world, whom is the best thing that ever happened to me and makes my clock tick.  But I haven’t met him yet, so I’ll withhold any gushing until he at least has a name.  (No, he doesn’t have a name yet, people!!).